Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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