Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
