ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize