You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize