I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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