This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
