Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Randomize
