you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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