Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
