I just made out with a guy for $7.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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