I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize