My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
