Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I believe in your delicious
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
