Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
