called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
