honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
