So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
