its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
