how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
