I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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