Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
