omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
