I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
