Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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