tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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