@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
