You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can't put those talents on a resume
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
