just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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