He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
