Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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