I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
