whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i think my cat just said my name.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
