this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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