There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
