she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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