the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
