The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm too high and old for this...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
