she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
