How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
