whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
