Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
