If i come over, it means nothing
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
