which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm passing your future prison.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
