I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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