is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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