Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
