You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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