i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
