Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
