Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize