So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
