i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
