The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
