Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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