just come out here and I will go home with you...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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