the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
