Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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