Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
