so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
