Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
